Thursday, October 06, 2005

Mallu Catholic Names...the Formula

Hey matey's,
One more viral mail which was just too hilarious. Good sense of humour is a compulsary requirement to proceed.

"Kindly pass this to others
No Offense Intended

how to name your kids as if you were a Mallu Christian

Statutory warning: If you are not South Indian it might be pointless reading further
Extra Statutory warning: If you are a mallu with the pride of Kerala in your loins DON'T read any further

It has been a well kept secret for eons, shrouded in mystery and mazes of
deceit, but finally Itty Boben Jacob Elias Kuruvilla from Pazhookaville,
near Thelmasherry, Kerala has consented to let us publish this classified
mallu formula, on the naming of mallu christian kids.

1. Select a combination of both the mother and fathers names. Eg: Suresh and Sharon = Susha or Joseph and Beena = Jobi.
2. The addition of a 'mon' (meaning son) or 'mol' (meaning daughter) is optional. eg: Sushamol, Jobimon
3. To attach a modern anglicised feel to the names, the mol or mon can be replaced with boy or girl. eg: Jobiboy, Sushagirl.
4. For the politically correct keralite family, mol and mon can be replaced by the universal 'kutty'(child), which can be used for both boys and girls!
Eg: Jokutty, Susikutty

Even parents having combination names can still give their children suitable names eg: Libi and Jobi = Lijo

However, in the scenario where the parents already have combination names that cannot form more comprehensible child names. Eg: Itty and Amukutty, would produce only Itam (which doesn't even sound like a name) or Amit (which is like Northie and stuff !!!), then
a. use an English word like Baby, Merry, Titty, Pearly, Smiley, Anarchy,etc.
b. use a combination of two English names that you think sound cool (but never cool enough) like Meredith + Gina = Megi, or Sharon + Darlene = Sharlene
c. Use a name from the Bible (and not Nebuchadnezzar ! Use one that even velliammachi can pronounce !) like Jacob, Sam, John, Joseph, Mathew, or Jijo!
d. Use a name that sounds like a cuss word but isn't. Eg: Boben, Prussy, Shagi, JustinTimberlake etc.

Note: The use of the letter 'j' is useful in the naming of sibling where names that sound alike are a novelty. Eg: Ajji, Sajji, Majji, Bhajji and Nimajji, or Sijo, Lijo, Jijo, Anjo, Panjo, Banjo.
"

1 comment:

ChrisWoznitza said...

Hi I´m Chris. Greatings from Germany Bottrop !!